I haven’t bought or really even been intrigued by a new release in a while. Is it the new consoles on the horizon? Or have we, as a culture, finally fallen into an uninspired artistic rut from which mankind will never recover? What follows is an honest review of this week’s releases in an attempt to uncover the truth.
Numero Uno: ArchLord.
Sensing a deep need for another MMORPG, ArchLord takes all the elements of every previously released MMORPG and magically rams it all together into one package. Ride atop hundreds of creatures as you are once again forced to kill the same mythical creatures you’ve been killing for years.
Numero Due: Just Cause.
Playing as Che Guevara, incite a rebellion against Venezualan president Hugo Chavez. Help destroy the axis of evil!
Numero tre: DDR SuperNOVA.
Experience hardest of hardcore dancing challenges , as the losing player explodes in a ball of UV radiation! Features over 400 new Japanese techno trance hits, “So You Had a Bad Day,” and “Beautiful!”
Numero Quattro: Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria
Occuring directly after the events of Final Fantasy X, follow Yuna and her friends as they have a crazy dance party that forces the monsters to give up in disgust. Now features online content!
Numero Cinque: NBA 2K7.
The long awaited sequel to Shaq-Fu, control the man-giant as he proceeds to destroy the opposition with rim-shattering dunks. Boo-Yah!
After serious consideration, it is safe to assume that this week’s offerings are all welcome additions to the gaming community. Besides, we all need something to do until Guild Wars: Nightfall hits the stores. Dervish 4eva!
-mlbradley
durden26@comcast.net