Ah, the New Year, time again to make promises we don’t intend to keep (I’m still watching you Peter). The time (dis)honored tradition of making pledges to ourselves works about as well as a 3 micron thick remote control strap. So why do we do it? Social pressure? Some sick need to end up disappointing ourselves? Or just so there is something to talk about at 2am January 1st when the party is essentially over but no one wants to be the first one to go to bed?

I do it for the same reason almost all columnists do it, I’m on a deadline and need to put 600 words online or lose my job. So with out further ado, Back of the Bus presents Seth 4:10’s gaming resolutions for 2007!

1. Lose Weight

I’ve got a good ten pounds I’d like to drop. Ten bulky pounds that just take up space and just makes me feel uncomfortable. They just sit there encased in black and green plastic, in the form of my old Xbox. I’ve got a 360, and I’ve never owned that many games for Microsoft original system, so their 60% reverse compatibility ‘feature’ is not a real factor for me to keep it. But three hundred dollars is thee hundred dollars, so I haven’t been able to just throw it away. So it sits there taking up space in my entertainment center, squatting like a neon gorilla. No longer, I’m going to exercise my rights of ownership, and drop it.

2. Be Nicer

Some of my not-so-loyal Riders are up in arms about my poor attitude…concerning driving games. Apparently a semi-glowing review of Burnout 3 was not enough for some people. So I resolve to be more tolerant of the genre, I will no longer endlessly mock people with left turn induced carpel tunnel syndrome. I will stop bugging fellow gamers by attempting to harmonize with the endless drone of the terribly useful phony engine noise. I mean I totally love having that nonstop buzzing going on while I’m attempting to enjoy myself, trying to enjoy myself while going for that most exciting of all gaming goals: the best lap time! Vroom! Hooray!

3. Fix Up My House

Yes, I own a house, and I can’t help myself but to brag about that fact every chance I get…like now. And since my mortgage payment is deducted automatically from my savings, I can pretend that the crippling monthly financial burden isn’t really happening. What I need, other then a higher credit limit, is a surround sound system. Because if some achievement point glutton just has to have their 20 for killing me with a sniper rifle a hundred times at least should be able to hear where the shot comes from.

4. Vacation

I must take a trip this year, and not just to PAX, and I can do that now with my new DS. I look forward to not seeing the sights on my journey. Not to mention discovering if ancient sources of light like stained glass windows, handcrafted colonial era candles and arrow-slit ridden castle battlements are conducive to mobile gaming. Strange exotic voltages will add a touch of mystery and danger to the whole endeavor.

Four things to make me a better gamer in the New Year. Go ahead and steal them if you want. We are entering a new golden age of gaming, and I for one can’t wait to see what the future will hold.

THE RIDE BOARD:

In Transit:   A round of applause to Gametap and Telltale Games for the release of Sam & Max Episode 2, the first of the new spate of ‘episodic’ games to actually reach the second episode.

Did You Know:  Frederick “Freddie” Gilroy won a bronze medal for Ireland at the 1956 Summer Olympics in Melbourne at bantamweight. (thanks, Wikipedia!)

ARCHIVE
Comments? Questions? E-mail me at seth410@gamertransit.com. Complaints? Let all acquaintance be forgot!
Back of the Bus is © 2007 by Seth “4:10” Robison, used with exclusive permission by gamertransit.com. Reproduction without permission is prohibited.